Thursday, January 8, 2009

Do You Hate Your Grandparents?

Are you tired of receiving birthday and Christmas cards with only five bucks inside? Do you wish that grandma and grandpa would die so you can get your share of the inheritance? If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, then I have the product you're looking for. Antipsychotic medication. Yes, that's right folks, the same drugs you use to sedate your annoying children can be use to kill your grandparents. And the best part is, it's completely legal.

A new article published in the January 9th issue of the Lancet Neurology (1) gives the details. "The study involved 165 Alzheimer’s patients in care homes who were being prescribed antipsychotics. 83 continued treatment and the remaining 82 had it withdrawn and were instead given oral placebos. Findings showed a significant increase in risk of death for patients who continued taking antipsychotic medication. The difference between the two groups became more pronounced over time, with 24-month survival rates for antipsychotic-treated patients falling to 46% versus 71% on the placebo and at 36 months it was 30% versus 59%. It means that after three years, less than a third of people on antipsychotics were alive compared to nearly two thirds using the dummy drug."

Just imagine, in three short years you will no longer need to listen to your grandmother as she goes on and on about how lonely she is and how much she hates the nursing home you put her in. You can finally live a guilt free existence.

For whatever reason, these results came as a surprise to some people, "Rebecca Wood, Chief Executive of the Alzheimer’s Research Trust, said: 'The findings of this research are a real wake-up call and underline the danger of prescribing antipsychotics long-term for anything other than exceptional circumstances. We must avoid the use of these drugs as a potentially dangerous "chemical cosh" to patients who would be better off without it. The study also highlights the urgent need to develop better treatments as Alzheimer’s patients have few options available to them.'" "Wake-up call?" "Highlights the urgent need?" I guess she's not aware of all this research (2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7).

However, if history is any indicator, this "new" research won't change a damn thing (8).

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